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1. |
The Fear Song
03:45
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Lying in the bathroom - the cold tile floor
Contemplating prose - and the cons of death
Is there a Heaven - and would I go to Hell
For all the little blue pills - that I took sublingual?
Okay
Is there a god - and will they have me smited
For being such a faggot - and cursing all the time?
I stay up every night - watching for demons
To take me when my guard's down - and tear me to shreds
Dreaming of death - the end of the world
I wake up exhausted - and fearing for my life
Reality's a fog - I wade through delusions
Does it get better? And will I survive?
What is truly right? And what is truly wrong?
Am I a person? Or am I a pawn
To the ones around me - and their opinions?
Only time will tell - if I'm a fool
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2. |
Abilify
04:18
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[verse]
Wake up - clutching the knife I keep under my head and I shake up - the bottle of pills I keep by my bed
I don't know if I'll get any better
I don't know if I'll wind up dead
All I know is that nothing you say will ever get these voices out from inside of my head
[chorus]
No one's words, no one's touch, no one's feelings seem to help much
[verse 2]
I make up - rules in my head that don't make any sense and I take up - time in my life with these stupid delusions
I don't...
I'm under the gaze, I'm under the spotlight, my paranoia won't stop
[chorus]
I convinced myself I killed you by accident
I texted you to prove myself wrong
I sat on my bed with a knife in my hand to protect myself from demons
I stayed up until I passed out, I did this all throughout summer
Hanging by the strings of my fear, I do a dance just trying to stay clear
[bridge]
No one's words, no one's touch, no one's feelings seem to help much
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3. |
Hindsight is 20/40
04:18
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You always liked the more talkative ones
I never had anything to say(nothing important, that is)
I was one of the two whose words were ordinarily dismissed
Sometimes I wonder “was it my fault you stopped talking to me?”
“was I not interesting enough?”
“was I not 'cool' enough?”
I could never keep up with what was trending in your circle
It all weighs on my mind a lot
What did I do wrong?
Why was I left behind?
Why was I not in the “cool kids” server?
Whatever...
I just wanted love
I just wanted you to see me
Now all I do is wonder “what went wrong?”
Did you really care, or was it just a lie?
Thoughts that occupy part of my mind
Was it all you, or was it all me?
What the fuck ever
I had nightmares about you for a while after we broke up
Not as much these days, though
I try to write whenever I think about you
I think it helps
While I may have been the one to pull the trigger, our relationship died long ago
It just took me a while to accept it
Do you ever think of me?
Is it good or bad thoughts?
These questions pop up a lot
I'm not sure if I want the answer
[Chorus]
Was any of it truly real?
I wish I knew how you felt
How did you really feel?
I'm not sure I want to know
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4. |
When the Sun Goes Down
07:57
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When the sun goes down, we won't meet again(x a lot)
You never really cared
I was only there to keep you occupied
While you waited for them to come online
The best moments of my life
What were they to you?
Did they mean anything to you?
Four years, four years, four years, four years
They meant nothing
It was nothing
When the day came you didn't shed a tear
You saw my pain and could only feel awkward as the weight fell from your shoulders
I wish I could tell them
I wish I could tell everyone what happened
What you did to me
How you treated me
How you treated everyone
How you used them until they weren't fresh anymore
Sapping out what you could of them before forgetting them or stabbing them in the back
This song is for them
Throughout the song I said when the sun goes down we won't meet again
It's a spin on an Animal Collective lyric I used to say to assure myself we'd see each other again
Remember that?
A part of me still misses you, despite my bitter feelings
Whether that information empowers you or not is your own perogative
Throw me a message if you wanna say sorry
Otherwise, this is goodbye
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5. |
Treacherous Turquoise
03:00
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